Ross Mayhew's Musical Journey

You might need a cup of tea (with plant milk, of course) as you read this post, it goes on for a bit.

This post does feature some new music but it’s mostly about my feelings on the animal rights movement and social media, as they have been the inspiration for 4 recently released songs, Save Yourself, Nothing Going On, Not Here For You and Portable Dream.

Below you can stream the title track from the Not Here For You EP.

“maybe this is goodbye but maybe i’ll come back”

The EP will be available from my Bandcamp page from Monday the 10th of June.

Tracklist

Not Here For You
Portable Dream
By The Mersey
The World Can Wait For Me
Bound To Repeat (Live)
Nothing (Really) Going On – Bandcamp Bonus Track

Before i get under way i would like to be clear in the fact that this is not an “i’m a better activist than you” post (although do check out David Rovics’ song I’m A Better Anarchist Than You, i like it). It is however a collection of my own personal thoughts and feelings from taking part in, and organising various animal rights events throughout the South West of England over the last 3 years both as an individual and under various group names/banners.

I’ll get on to the songs themselves in a bit but first off…

THE SAVE MOVEMENT

I’ll start by saying i think the Save Movement has done a good job in getting people active and bearing witness around the world. This has in no doubt been an important part of modern animal rights activism as it shows the slaughter/animal agriculture industry that there is a growing number of people against them and that veganism is rising. With mobile phones and social media both footage and information is available faster and wider than ever before, reaching millions of people in an instant. From a vigil or elsewhere we can share cases of animal abuse in an instant and get someone thinking about just what they are contributing toward and the world we all live in.

Lately people do seem to be going off the idea of doing vigils, the initial impact/shock value is no longer there, there is an endless supply of footage online now and the number of activists committed to organizing/attending these events are dwindling, locally to me at least. While i want to be there for the animals and share their story i do think the vegan movement is moving away from bearing witness and in to other areas, such as exposing the state of dairy/factory farms along with meet the victims and street based action.

In the case of vigils to stand outside a slaughterhouse and document the animals being taken to slaughter costs nothing but time and effort. Almost everyone has a smartphone or camera to capture footage with, so aside from travel costs and perhaps the funding of a few signs i don’t see what else is needed to bear witness – which is the basic, if not sole purpose of a Save Group as i understand it. At some level large organizations do need staff to devote full or part time hours to help with the organization and overseeing of a project or cause but for an individual Save Group to receive thousands of pounds/dollars is something i question the need for. Outreach stalls don’t cost a great deal to host and if everyone helps each other out getting to and from vigils should be achievable.

I have had my own personal “falling out” (maybe a slight exaggeration) with the Save Movement.

I had put up a video on my groups Facebook page from a cattle market, which was located next door to the slaughterhouse we had just finished a vigil at and in that video you can see a calf, scared and confused, making their way from the trailer they arrived in to where they were to be held prior to collection by another farmer. As i filmed the calf making it’s way in to the holding area a fellow activist can be overheard talking with a farmer, asking in theory how much a calf would cost at auction. This caused the Save Movement to message my groups “official organizer” who in turn asked me to clarify what was what, etc. At that very same time i had also received a message from someone involved with the Save Movement, with whom i’d had no prior contact with in any form but once i’d spoken with my co-organizer the Save Movement official had decided to not bother carrying on our short exchange. In fact all they got around to asking was “i understand you are currently organising vigils, how are they going?” – very out the blue to be asked that, it had to be connected with the video and making sure i knew “the law”.

Should a farmer ever says to me “give me £20 or this cow goes to slaughter right now” i will pay to save the life, no if’s or but’s, because a life is more important than money, or indeed a Save Movement policy. Of course i’m not going to start supporting pet shops and the like but every situation is unique and i won’t be told it’s “not vegan” to save an animal – of course liberation is the preferred method and i’m all people breaking in to places and doing whatever is necessary to free someone but it’s not always an option. No vegan wants to support the animal agriculture industry but in the case of the theoretical situation above i couldn’t just let an animal head in to be killed if presented with a chance to prevent it from happening, that’s the key point here. Sometimes you need to take off your vegan badge and act with your heart, the vegan community is full of people trying to “out vegan” one another, even to the point where animals are suffering.

Money is an evil in this world, the power it holds over us, our ego and the basic fact we have to pay to exist is a terrible thing that everyone just seems to accept/put up with. If i can use some of the money i have to give another the chance of living then it’s better spent there instead of on a DVD, ticket to a festival, a new phone, animal rights hoodie/merchandise, etc, etc.

I have done vigils with save groups and without and they are just the same, every slaughterhouse presents it’s own challenges and obstacles when it comes to bearing witness. There is no formula that works for every vigil, you just do what needs to be done in the safest way possible. Rules generally are only in place to comfort and control the weak, those switched on enough know what’s right and what’s wrong and act accordingly to what the situation requires in reflection with their own personality.

I don’t think any individual, or group can (or should) claim to own a form of protest or action. Ideas are created, shared and improved, no money need change hands. We need to stop playing “kings & queens”, giving ourselves fancy job titles and roles to inflate our egos and (social media) profile.

Veganism is about removing ego and realising we should all be treated the same, human and animal alike.

VIEWS ON VIGILS

A side note on vigils is that i don’t think swarms of people need to surround trucks once they are stopped, a handful will do and if the animals are scared or uneasy with our presence we should then step away, because as much as we want to show them love and the potential power of the footage it’s not a photo contest.

Some animals will be very curious as to what is going on and not mind interaction but some will be distressed by our presence, so we must be sure to respect them as individuals and not use them, or to inflict further suffering upon them for social media content. Whether we like it or not those animals probably trust the farmer driving them to slaughter a lot more than they do us.

The thought of cows tipping over from a suddenly stopping truck is something i hope i never have to witness. If a driver won’t slow down just let them pass by, you’re risking not only your life but the physical and emotional well-being of the animals being transported, they are already likely to be scared and confused by what is going on without us causing the breaks to slam on, them to slip/fall and then have us pointing our cameras and lights in their eyes while intruding upon their personal space.

For me slaughterhouse vigils are not only about capturing footage but also an act of a protest. If trucks don’t stop, or aren’t stopped, those farmers are still confronted with signs and messages held by activists opposing what they are doing. On a day without activists present these farmers will go to and from the slaughterhouse without hassle or thought, so any presence can be deemed positive, confronting them with their choice to profit from murder and exploitation.

If you can get footage without causing further distress then by all means do it, sometimes you can’t help causing a little distress and sometimes we will give a little comfort and some love but don’t always assume the animals feel love from you (as much as we have it for them, and hope they can sense it from us), or that you have to right to invade their personal space so aggressively – especially with bright lights at evening vigils. We’re there to protest and document what goes on, our photos, video footage and words will hopefully open the viewers eyes and be all the motivation they need to become vegan, and stand up for the animals.

PAID ACTIVISM

No matter what side of the fence we stand when it comes to money in the vegan movement we are all guilty of getting lost in our own ego from time to time, and i include myself in this. Releasing these songs and this blog post rather than keeping my opinions to myself perhaps demonstrates that my own ego could do with reigning in a tad, none of us are perfect, however…

I am vegan because my life holds no more value than another, i don’t eat, or seek to profit from animals – or people, despite my distaste for the majority of them – because they are my equals. I don’t believe anyone is worthy of hero-worship in this world, we are all human and liable to fault. We all know, or should know that social media projects distorted images but it still leaves me puzzled when anyone, activists included are given a status akin to that of a deity – which themselves are pretty ludicrous.

Respect and admiration for someone is fine and healthy, it’s a simple display of emotion and affection for someone who’s had a positive impact on our lives but to see vigils listed as “important” because a certain activist will be attending is concerning (especially if that activist is paid to be there in some form, be it a fee or travel expenses – a sanctuary needs that money more). If people need a “star” to be present in order to be persuaded along it’s a sad state of affairs, isn’t the plight of the animals enough cause to be active? I’ve seen situations firsthand where people have turned up for the “famous vegan” but are seldom seen or heard from after, that might be an issue with modern society rather than solely the vegan movement but it’s still frustrating none the less.

Of course in general i don’t care who people are standing alongside as long as they are standing for what’s right, that’s the important thing here, but don’t just do it so you can say you’ve attended a vigil with “X”. By all means take photos/selfies with friends and people who inspire you after an event but remember this is about the animals, not our egos and gaining social media likes because we need to be seen being as loving and caring, or alongside someone of a certain status.

We actually need to get those who fund the slaughter to attend vigils so they can see what their money is going toward when they buy animal products. Vigils shouldn’t just be attended vegans, they have the potential to be an education for those unaware of the horrors. For some our words and pictures aren’t enough, seeing (firsthand) is believing – although i’m aware getting them to attend is in most cases 99.99% impossible.

When i am at a vigil i am there for the animals so i won’t create an issue if a “celebrity vegan” is standing alongside me, i’m sure i can learn something from them in some form – as i can from anyone in this world. It is important we all do activism wherever we are in this world but i don’t see why any activist needs to tour the world, there are problems in all our home towns that need addressing and confronting, be they zoos, farms, slaughterhouses, horse racing, greyhound racing, bull fighting, butchers, cattle markets, aquariums, etc – animal abuse is all around us and all must be fought against with equal passion.

Also maybe, just maybe jetting around the world so regularly doesn’t do much for the environmental aspect of veganism.

YOUTUBE/SOCIAL MEDIA FAME

Activists asking for money to support their activism is something else that causes dived option and personally i don’t think they should be doing it.

Activism – in whatever form – is something all vegans should strive do whenever they are able to, it shouldn’t be seen as a profitable career. I know we’d all love to fight for the animals 24/7 but the reality is we can’t without massive self-sacrifice and we shouldn’t really expect others to fund this. I know many people who rearrange work, cancel shifts and give up family time just to be active for the animals and they seek nothing in return. I’m not suggesting we should suffer and be penniless, we should of course all help each other when we can, offering friends a lift, a place to stay, helping to cover petrol and public transport costs is all good. But nobody needs £1000+ a month to be active in my view. It’s not just about the big events.

I would actually like to see the “well-known” YouTube vegans encouraging their growing fan-base to use their own spare money to attend or set up vigils, activism and outreach events near to them, or even to donate to sanctuaries and (vegan) animal charities – if they are unable to be active for whatever reason – instead of asking for them to fund their activism. No one is more important or deserving than another when it comes to this fight. When i hear the words “if you want to support my activism” or “i’m a big vegan activist” it makes me die inside because ego has taken over at this point.

We need to create more sanctuaries in the U.K. and support those spending day and night looking after animals rather than helping an individual take a day or two off work to make a YouTube video or host a protest because they need content for their social media channels, although it’s not up to me to tell others how to spend their money. Surely vegans funding trips for vegans to give talks to vegans on how to be vegan is a waste of both time and money? Especially in the age of video calls and YouTube. Of course some people do have a natural talent when it comes to giving talks, debating or encouraging others in getting active and those skills should of course be utilized but once money (and profile) is involved people will strive for that above all else – greed corrupts and image distorts, both an individual and how they are viewed.

The more veganism grows the more types of personality it will attract and i don’t mean to sound as if i am dismissing the effect a YouTube activist can have but i just worry it’s becoming more about status and money and the less about the animals – the rise of “why i’m no longer vegan” videos confirms this to me. People can of course make the point that a certain activist may have a large reach/vegan conversation rate, and that’s great but surely videos, talks, demos, etc can be done around a day job? and do we really need fresh content every week? The basic premise of veganism never changes. If a video is effective/helpful just keep on sharing it and make new videos as and when the time allows. If i can’t afford to do activism or go and record a song i don’t beg for money, i can just share older stuff while i put the hours in and work for my goal, i find that brings more personal satisfaction.

Nobody should ever worry about how their social media accounts are perceived, it’s nice to share our lives with our friends and family, to make connections, to learn from others and all that sort of stuff but it’s unhealthy to be worried about how we present ourselves online and to strive for interactions, just be you and do what you can when you can. Life is what it is and we are who we are, don’t worry if you’re not seen doing activism, your follow count is low or your blog post is a little later than you had hoped, if you’re doing something from the heart with honesty and passion that is all that matters. No matter how much money you make, how popular you are we are all heading to the same place.

Veganism isn’t a product, of course we live in a capitalist world and can’t stop established retail chains jumping on the rise of a growing ethical movement for a bit of cash but we should be self-aware enough to not sell ourselves.

CUBE OF TRUTH EVENTS

Events such as Earthlings and a Cube of Truth are VERY effective forms of outreach, confronting members of the public with images some view as “upsetting” or “too much” is essential in my eyes, people need to see exactly what happens in the production of “their food” and once they are confronted with the truth they then have to make a simple choice, to either stop or to continue supporting cruelty – once you know, you know, there’s no going back!

However as effective as these events are i don’t see why anyone in Anonymous For The Voiceless need to be paid to travel around the world to set up events, groups and give talks. Surely all people need to do is stand with a laptop and put on a mask? People are individuals and need to be treated as such. I don’t think there is a magic formula for making someone vegan (if there was the world would be vegan by now). Just get out there and chat to people, relate to them as the person they are, reeling off a prepared set of questions isn’t always the best way, pointers/starting points are all good but talk to others as individuals, every person and conversation is unique so copying someone you saw online might not be the best way to go.

Group photos or an “action shots” are all good but i do get a little tired of seeing people sharing photos of themselves talking with the public. It comes across as very self-serving and at times actually disrespectful to the person they are talking with, that person might not be vegan (yet) and yes they could of even been acting like a total jerk but does that mean they should be plastered all over a strangers Facebook page? Unless they have consented for the conversation to be made public via video, audio or text then just leave it there, you’ve had your chat and done your bit, the world doesn’t need to hear about how amazing you are non-stop.

I get why Cube Of Truth events are so popular, they allow the more confident activists to talk with the public while those who perhaps aren’t as confident can wear a mask and still be as equally effective in waking people up. Seeing a large group of vegans together is inspiring, however should people need a few tips when it comes to outreach, or even arranging a Cube Of Truth, those questions, responses and tips can put in a video, or listed on a website to view for free, i mean they could be for all i know but do people really need to be told how to stand in a cube?

I have helped organize and run several Cube Of Truth events and when i have done so i always liked to keep things as relaxed as possible – i know others run them this way too, but i also know some are very “military” in their approach, following the AV handbook to the letter. Of course we are there for a very serious reason but everyone who is attending is doing so off their own back in order to do something for the animals, so i don’t think people need to be made to feel they are at work and be given 101 rules to follow for what is one of the simplest pieces of activism. Also who am i to tell someone off for wearing green instead of black, or for not standing with the correct posture? They are there and they care, that’s enough!

I was very briefly an AV chapter, and have in the past met the founders of the group. I found the rules and the attitude of people within to be worrying. There is a seeming obsession with profile, image, rules and regulations, a lot of ego and control backed up by “yes men” (and women). These things caused me to step down and not have any ties with AV movement. As stated above i think Cubes are a good way of spreading the vegan message but i feel AV as an organization can come across as very self-serving and boastful, to the point where i wonder if they are promoting veganism or themselves.

To compare approaches of how things are run below is an example from 2018;

I was made an AV chapter after an interview/video call lasting over an hour, which listed rule, after rule, after rule and then being added into several Facebook groups, each with their own specific purpose. Shortly afterward, maybe even within a week The Earthlings Experience messaged the Save Group i was playing a large part in running at that time as they were seeking people who could help them in keeping their own Facebook page up to date, as like AV they have people all around the world doing events in their style and it’s not easy to keep up with. It took just a couple of messages and i was given permission to create events as The Earthlings Experience, there was instant trust, no interview, no list of pointless rules, they understood i was a vegan, an activist, had run similar events before and that was enough – although i doubt my past experience really mattered much at all.

AV don’t, or at least didn’t in mid-2018 allow group chapters/organizers to create events themselves, you would have to ask for events to be put up and share photos and stories in certain groups for approval by those higher up in the organization before anything would happen on the actual AV page. It all just seems a bit much too for me, too many rules and an obsession over image. At the end of the day i can stand in a town centre, alone or with friends and wear any mask i want (or none at all) and open some minds without buying an AV hoodie (where does all the money for those and other AV merchandise go anyway?) and boasting about how effective i am. When i scroll through social media these days i am almost put off from activism by the arrogance, self-indulgence and “look at me” nature of peoples posts, admittedly i have done some of these things that i now get irritated/annoyed by but i see things differently now.

Remember not to be fooled by a gimmick, question everything and think freely. We’re trying to break/change the system, not join it.

SUMMARY OF THE ABOVE

YouTube activists are fine, just don’t see why individual activists need funding
money should go to the animals/sanctuaries
i’m not a fan of selling veganism as a product, it’s all about ethics
money corrupts, i don’t want to see an ethical movement suffer (more) because of that
veganism/activism isn’t a career

To put it simply, there are those who will use their profile to help a cause and those who will use a cause to help their profile.

THE SONGS

1. Save Yourself

A simple 12-bar blues, i think, i have never had much of a clue as to what i’m really doing. It is very much inspired by two Bob Dylan tracks, check out Thunder On The Mountain and Man Of Peace and you’ll maybe see what i mean. It’s also based on an old song of mine called No Rain Falling On Me but it’s in a different key, B instead of C#.

It was all recorded and mixed in one day – well the electric guitar was added about a year later. I did do another vocal around the time of recording but decided the first was better, which makes you wonder how bad the second attempt was right?. This song had been gathering dust for well over a year and it actually started with nothing to do about veganism, it was just a rant that ran out of steam quite quickly, although a few lyrics remain.

“i saw through the devil and i saw through god, i see through the mask you hope won’t fall off”

The point of the song is to just to remember that everything should be questioned, don’t just blindly follow someone or something just because their message speaks of love, look deeper and don’t get caught up in yourself.

Social media is a handy tool, it’s good to have because it’s helped the rise in veganism without a doubt. Sadly though so many get lost in how they present themselves online that their real personalities becomes lost in their desire to be accepted and adored. In fact i even thought twice about releasing this song and blog post because i didn’t want to upset people but in the end i can only be true to who i am and what i feel in the moment. Maybe in time i’ll regret this post, it won’t be today though.

The title isn’t part of the lyric, which is unusual for me to do but it’s a simple message for people who’ve taken a wrong turn and been lured by the prospect of money or status to save themselves. This alone could easily apply to many areas in life, not just the vegan movement.

2. Nothing Going On

The song is solely about social media and people posting anything to be seen in the right light. When is see people asking their followers “what content do you want to see?” i feel like that person has, or is close to losing themselves. People just seem to want to live in an echo-chamber of acceptance. Desperate for attention above being real or anything with any meaning, i’ve found myself doing some these things in the past and it’s beyond cringe-y!

Less and less is real about this world with every passing day. Social media regularly makes me want to vomit, yet i still use it, so what that says about me i’m not so sure.

“you’ve got nothing to say but you say it anyway, the need to be seen is making you invisible”

The song feels a bit like a continuation of Save Yourself, and Nothing Going On actually follows on from it on the album Here I Am. I was tempted to merge/link them together at one point so the ending of one rolled in to the others intro when the album was played on CD.

3. Not Here For You

This is an “up yours” to aspects of the vegan movement, especially locally – i wasn’t in the happiest place when i wrote it.

For about 2 years i was heavily involved in organising regular activism in the South West of England, which for the most part i enjoyed, i learned a lot and met so many lovely people i’m grateful to call close friends. Unfortunately though things got to the point where i began to feel used, i was being constantly pressed and probed, there was always someone wanting a piece of my mind, my time and to sort out X, Y and Z – even people bitching about others in the group to me.

I do like to help people but i felt pushed into a role i didn’t want or need and it cost me a piece of who i am. There was a seemingly unrealistic expectation and demand on me, admittedly some of it came from myself but every time i tried to step-back a voice would pop up wanting something and quite simply i don’t want to carry that weight anymore, i don’t need to be “that person”, it was never my goal to be a leader or find popularity, i just wanted to do something.

From this point on i’m keeping my circle small and doing what feels right at the time. While i will help if i can equally i am not a gateway for others to do activism – to quote the song “i’m not here for you”.

Musically it was all mostly written at once, aside from the middle 8 which popped in to my head when on a stroll a week or so later. As usual i don’t sit down with an intent to write a song. I start playing, words come tumbling out and i try and catch the song, i often don’t even realise what a song is about until i’ve finished it and listen back.

“how are you gonna spin it when you’re not winning and there is only you to blame”

The song is quite nasty in parts but then again sometimes life is and i guess it needed saying. I’m all for peace and love but that doesn’t mean i can’t tell people to fuck off now and then. Individually i have a lot of love for the majority of people i’ve met in the animal rights community but collectively i’m kinda done for now.

Nothing lasts forever and for growth to happen ways need to part. My passion for the animals will never die, i’ll always do something whenever i can and never shy away from my values and beliefs.

4. Portable Dream

The midlife crisis starts here! For a change of pace i went down the dance/electronic route with this one, it could of easily been a stomping rock song instead but i felt it was time to try something else.

“everybody wants to be something as long as it’s not free, everybody wants to change the world while they watch t.v.”

The song is (yet another) dig at the fact we’re all presenting this perfect life on social media, glued to our phones at every waking moment trying to please virtual strangers. I think the fact i’ve written a fair bit about this is because i have tried to limit the amount of time i spend on social media but have found myself getting drawn back in to it each time – i hate it!

The song itself was written the day before my latest studio session and we spent in total about an hour and a half on it, which included the recording of the guitar and vocal – of which there was only one take – then we just played with sounds for a bit. Don’t think i’m going to make a permanent move into the electronic scene though somehow, as fun as it was making this – wouldn’t be surprised if remixes happened down the line.

ROUNDING THINGS UP

All of the above and below are just my views of course and you’re welcome to dismiss them, debate them or even hurl abuse at me for sharing the opinions i’ve put across but remember i’ve not dismissed the good work people do for veganism, i’ve simply questioned some methods and approaches that i’ve seen and dealt with firsthand. The sincerity of the majority i do not doubt.

The rise in coverage on national radio and television within the U.K. is amazing and those activists who’ve taken part have no doubt reached a lot of people and opened a lot of minds. Veganism will continue to rise, science is on the side of a plant based lifestyle but i just feel more respect is given to those who fight for a cause and the cause alone, and not for status or income. Do activists really need a clothing range and a Patreon account? For me, no they don’t, as stated above i know many people who manage to be active on a basic wage. If farmers can take time off work to debate on T.V. and radio can’t a vegan activist do the same from their day job? (although hopefully farmers are generally working less as their industry crumbles fast!).

Big vegan events are great because they catch the eye of the public and show just how many people want to make this world a little less shit but i feel some people want to be seen at the top end of things only and not quite so keen to do so much when it comes to things closer to home.

Since performing at my first vegan festival in 2012, getting involved with local animal rights groups in 2015 and becoming more and more active for the animals i’ve met countless people and learned so much from them. You can learn from anybody in this world, even those you’re fighting against – although that’s usually learning how not to act. Never think that just because you’re vegan you are free from judgment or fault, stay humble and focus on the animals and be willing to learn as you go through life.

I don’t want to fallout with anyone, i like my life simple and drama free but i still have my own views and i just want people to do what they can and when they can and for no other reason that the animals need them, not for a career or a status within the movement.

Save Vigils and Cube of Truths aren’t the only types of activism out there. You can stand outside your local butcher shop with a sign saying “murdering cunt” if that’s your bag, or you can try a less aggressive approach. Whatever your passion, be it drawing, poetry, making art, music, crafts, just do whatever your heart says is right, follow your passion and include your love for the animals within it. Hunt sabbing is also worthwhile, providing you can find a group that knows what they are doing.

Never trust a crowd of people, to quote Bob Dylan “if you want somebody you can trust, trust yourself”.

I’m always happy to learn and challenge my own views, it’s doing this that helps us to grow. A lot of points i’ve raised and the lyrics in these songs could be so easily aimed at myself. But as John Lennon says in his song I Don’t Wanna Face It “say you want to save humanity but it’s people that you just can’t stand” & “the time has come to see yourself but you always look the other way”, that’s pretty much where i am at now, i need a break from people, their egos and demands but also from myself.

ONE FINAL THING…

As mentioned a few times in the wall of text above a concern of mine is we all worry to much about how we are perceived by world, especially on social media, it just heightens it all. There seems to a constant need to be on our phones, to tell everyone what we are doing all the time, i know it doesn’t all come from a self-centered/narcissistic place but it certainly comes across that way when almost every post is a selfie – self-love is good, but self-awareness is equally important. To me it seems as if nobody wants to be themselves, instead they want to be something, desperate to be seen and validated non-stop and it’s not real what people are seeking and yet we wonder why despite all the comments/likes we get online we are still unhappy in our hearts. We can all complain society is sick and selfish in so many ways but you do have to look at yourself now and then too.

All of this doesn’t mean i will suddenly cease to post on my social media accounts, Instagram i actually enjoy using but i will seek to use all social media platforms a little less and instead focus on enjoying the day i’m in. I write my music for me, it’s my therapy, my guitar is my friend i tell my problems too, writing is the processing of emotions and releasing the material is the moving on from/dealing with whatever it was dancing in my head – i know social media can provide this release for some people and it’s not that i’m knocking people for posting, more the attention seeking/look at me posting, be it hourly, daily or weekly.

I guess this whole post is just my “venting”, i’m sure there are some inconsistencies in this rambling wall of text and people might well claim i am causing more drama in the movement but i can deal with all that, the worst that can come from this is the fact i have to deal with less people.

To cram in another Dylan quote “i’m locked in tight, i’m out of range, i used to care but things have changed”

I don’t really need to be seen as a “musician” or to please an audience or people anymore either, the second you try to please an audience you’re kinda fucked anyway. I don’t even want/need to be seen as an “activist”, even the word sometimes doesn’t sit comfortably with me, i’m not 100% sure why at this point.

Of you course you can point out “it’s just facebook” but that applies to either angle, some people will say “it’s just facebook, so it doesn’t matter what i post on it”, and that’s fine i guess but for me it is only “just facebook” so it can sod off for a bit, activism and being used to message friends aside.

Right now i am little burnout but whatever life brings, which will involve me doing my bit for the animals when and where i can, i just want to be the best version of me and save myself before i fade away.